okay, just breathe sweetheart. breathe. it’s ok, you are ok, everything is ok!! you’re in a safe place, just breathe. those shadows aren’t real, and you will be fine, and everything is ok!!

first off, i am SO, so proud of you. you opened up to your mom, which is lovely!! and you’ve toned down the substance usage, and that it is oh so fantastic and i am soooo proud of you.

and while its great your mom was sympathetic, im so sorry that she isn’t understanding about it. some people unfortunately just aren’t understanding of that kind of thing, and i know she’s being patronizing, but i think she’s just doing what she thinks will help. she only wants the best for you, and if she ever hurts you in doing so, she doesn’t mean it. but that said, by NO MEANS does it excuse her rudeness, and I’m oh so sorry for it. she seems very ignorant to depression, and i think maybe you could just educate her about how it doesn’t just shut off like a faucet, and that it’s a gradual, long process? I’m sure she’d understand!! but again, i’m soooo proud of you for talking to her, trust me when i say how tremendously brave that is!

and i understand with the pills. it’ll take time to break the habit, and you won’t be able to merely cut cold turkey. but that said, you’re taking the first steps to dropping it, which is fantastic! if you dont mind me asking, did you bring that up when you talked to your mom? (i tOTALLY understand if you didn’t, just curious) but you won’t be able to quit right away, and that’s ok!! you need to try to take it step by step, and reduce usage in a way that wont cause you to suffer from withdrawal! ANY progress is good progress, and you’ve already made some, which is great!!

but im very sorry about your sister!! being a pathological liar, shes obviously convinced herself that you’re the liar, and its awful that you’re being falsely accused like that!! and it is SO horrible for her to call you sick and messed up, because you’re not! you’re perfectly fine!! maybe you could try to talk to your mom about it? you could even try to have a civil conversation with your sister if you think it might help. But the fact that she called you those things is awful, and it seems as if your sister is being rather toxic to you. in fact, i would recommend, if you can, spending some time away from her; its unhealthy and so shitty for you to have to stay with such a toxic person. is there any possibility of her moving out soon? and in any case, as i said last time, you could always try to spend a few days (or even just a night!!) at a friends house; the vacation from your family will do you good!

and i understand if you can’t text me, but still know that i am always here, whenever, wherever. if you ever want to text me, or message me off anon, or talk to me in person and you are okay with it, i will listen judgement-free with open ears and open arms!! and i’m so proud of you, for everything!!